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My Turn
by

Wayne Chan


Wayne Chan and golden retriever Ally.

From The Asian Reporter, V29, #21 (November 4, 2019), page 6.

A golden friendship

"If you’re feeling stressed, give Ally a hug." That’s what my wife Maya said to me just before she left to go overseas and visit her mom, who lives in Taiwan.

Whenever one of us goes on a trip, business or otherwise, one of us needs to stay behind to watch our kids. We are the parents of 21-year-old triplets, two of whom are autistic.

She knows that our daughter, along with being autistic, also has some obsessive-compulsive impulses. And she is aware that during the last few years, dealing with Savannah has been a challenge. She also knows that try as I might, I was reaching my limit in how much more I could take of some of her nonstop obsessive behaviors.

So, Maya said, "Just give Ally a hug. Hold her tight."

Ally, the one she suggested I hug, is our 12-year-old golden retriever, and that suggestion was made exactly one week before we found out the news.

It came when I noticed Ally had suddenly become very sluggish, with no appetite at all. I took her to the emergency veterinary hospital and after some tests, I was told Ally had cancer, wasn’t a good candidate for treatment, and her time with us would likely be short. She was suffering.

After discussions with the vet, we decided we would leave Ally at the hospital overnight, where they could make her comfortable and stable enough to wait for Maya to come home the following day, so they could say goodbye.

I came home from the hospital after spending half the night there. Thoughts and memories of Ally rushed through my mind. She’s been the most patient companion anyone could wish for. All she ever really needed to be content was to sit beside me while I worked on my computer.

But the next day, it would all end.

The common refrain one hears at times like these is that it’s just part of life. That certainly is true, but understanding that reality does not make things any easier.

I drove to the hospital in the afternoon to see how she was doing. After seeing her weakened condition the day before, I expected her to be laying on her side in one of the hospital kennels, lacking even the energy to look up at me.

Instead, when I got out of the car, I heard someone call out my name. When I turned, I saw my friend who often cares for Ally when we are away. He was sitting on a patch of grass on a blanket with Ally, who seemed to be warming herself in the sun. Her head was raised and she looked at me as if she’d been waiting for my arrival. She even seemed to be smiling.

After a few minutes of gently caressing my old canine friend, I went inside to talk to the vet, who told me the drugs and fluids Ally had received overnight helped her regain some strength. She was comfortable and while her time with us was still short, it might likely be measured in weeks instead of hours. We could take her home!

I’m sure I’m not the only dog owner who attributes any number of human feelings and thoughts to their dog. I have no idea why she does some of the things she does. I don’t know if Ally would sit next to me because she likes my company or because I keep doggy biscuits on my desk. But in the end it doesn’t really matter because her companionship, her ability to put me at ease, and her unconditional acceptance of me as her friend are all too real.

In the span of 24 hours, I’d gone from facing a sudden goodbye to being blessed with a bit more time to show how much I love and will miss my friend. I’m taking Maya’s advice — giving Ally a hug and holding her tight — and being thankful that this time, I can be the one to comfort her.

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